Dating Out Of Your League

Date Like a Model, Even if You're Not One of Them


Dr. Neder;

I was just dropping by to ask a serious question about how to attract a very beautiful woman. I live in San Diego and there are a lot of beautiful women here, but I am very shy and there are times where I see women that are out of my league and wonder if just maybe?

I was just wondering if there is something I could do to make them notice me and find me attractive even though I may not have model looks.

Hello!

Abso-freakin'-lutely!!!! Your looks have almost nothing whatsoever to do with the women that you date!

You're starting off with a mistake. You believe that in order to attract very beautiful women, you have to be equally good looking. Not so. Let me give you a short list of examples from music:

* Carmen Electra & Dave Navarro
* Heather Locklear & Tommy Lee & Richie Sambora
* Pamela Anderson & Tommy Lee & Kid Rock
* Kate Hudson & Chris Robinson
* Shanna Moakler & Travis Barker
* Christie Brinkley & Billy Joel
* Dita Von Teese & Marilyn Manson
* Avril Lavigne & Deryck Whibley
* Paulina Porizkova & Ric Ocasek
* Heidi Klum & Seal
* Shannon Tweed & Gene Simmons
* Liv Tyler & Royston Langdon
* Jerry Hall & Mick Jagger
* Rachel Hunter & Rod Stewart
* Donna D'errico & Nikki Sixx
* Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin

In general, these guys aren't "beautiful" by any stretch, but their wives are all considered "10's". Now, you may be trying to excuse this away by saying "Well, their famous! I'm not!" No, you're not, but that's not the point. I'm using these examples simply because you'll know them. They're famous not because of who they married, or being rock stars (there are TONS of musicians that aren't famous!) It's because of their "power". Read on.

Just because looks are important to YOU means nothing. Women have different motivations than men and trying to impose your wants on women will get you nowhere.

So, the question then is: what do I have to do/know/be/say in order to attract beautiful women?

While there are many sub-categories of things that women want in men, I'd boil it down to one thing that is the most important: power. Power expresses itself in a number of ways; confidence, sense of humor, money and many others. The more of these you can express outwardly, the more you'll attract the women you seek.

Women report that the very first thing they notice about men (besides their height and then their eyes) is their shoes. If your shoes are in good shape, it says that you must be "in good shape" too. The second thing they notice is your watch. Beyond these things, your confidence starts to come through.

Note that women often report sense of humor as the most important aspect, but sense of humor and confidence are really one in the same! You have to have confidence in order to be comfortable putting yourself out there to tell jokes or cut-up without fear of failure. Thus, focusing on confidence is the better choice.

In my second book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World II"; I talk about the "seduction tree". This is the key to meeting and winning the most desirable women. It works like this:

Power <-----> Confidence
^

V
Humor <-----> Cockiness

What does all this mean? Simple: you gain power via a number of ways including the ones I've already mentioned. Through this you create confidence. You also show power via confidence.

Next, you learn humor - that is, how to be funny (and yes, you CAN learn this!) Then, express it via cockiness which increases your "sense of humor" factor. In other words, these things all work together to build each other - and thus, your "desirability" in the eyes of women!

Stop limiting yourself by thinking your looks have anything to do with which women you date. It's your power that makes that determination. Learn power and you can look like Ric Ocasek (Google him if you need) and hang with the most beautiful women.

Best regards...
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Have a love, dating, relationship, sex or man/woman question? You can write to me by going to: http://beingaman.com/ask_question.asp for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's Worldtm" (volumes I & II), and other products visit: http://beingaman.com/General%20-%202005/www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

Copyright (c) 2006, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.

Trouble in Break-up City

Trouble in Break-Up City


Dr. Neder,

My fiancé decided it was best to end our two year relationship about a month and a half ago. In this time I have realized why she did it and that she meant more to me than I ever knew. I made a lot of mistakes that I didn't see until now.

I talked to her about a month ago and she desperately wanted to be friends but I told her I couldn't do it. In this phone call she said she still loved me and wanted to keep the option for us to get back together open but didn't want to yet. She also seemed concerned about something I said a while back. I said that if she ever dated another man after we broke up that we would never get back together. I told her that this rule didn't necessarily apply anymore. The very next day she started dating another man. The information that I have is all from a reliable friend.

I did not talk to her or see her for a month. Yesterday I called her and left a message saying that we could be friends now and if she ever wanted to talk she should call me. She hasn't called yet. This woman is perfect for me and now that I know the mistakes I made I can fix it all and we could have a perfect, everlasting relationship. I just need her to give me the chance.

I will do anything to get her back. She is the woman that I am meant to be with. How can I win her back even though she has a boyfriend? I will do anything and I'm not just saying that.


Hello!

Well, you SAY that you'll do anything, but we'll see! Most guys claim this and few actually will do it. Here's what you have to do: start dating other women right away.

Will you do that? If not, then you don't need to read any further as nothing else I'm going to tell you will help. You'll just have to wait around and try to convince her that she should come back to you and that you'll change.

In fact, this won't work anyway. You didn't say what it was that you've done that is so heinous, but in fact, she fell in love with that guy you used to be. If you change him, she might come back (after you've been "punished" sufficiently) but she'll never stay around.

I'm always concerned when a couple breaks up this way. When you have problems, you work through them as a team. You don't leave in order to punish someone and you especially don't start dating someone else to hurt them. She's obviously put her message across to you, but this isn't exactly a healthy, relationship-building way to do it. Thus, I have to question the foundation of the relationship itself.

I hope you're still reading as you really need to hear all of this. I'm assuming that you want her back and that you want to get married. Frankly, I would urge you to rethink the marriage part of this in the strongest terms.

This isn't just about you not doing something (or doing something wrong) and she wants it fixed. As I've said twice now, this is about punishment. Otherwise, she'd have tried to work all of this out with you. If you go ahead and get married, it'll be more out of fear of losing her again than because getting married is the right move for your relationship.

Getting married will never give you "possession" of her. You can never own another person even by marrying them - people are just as likely to leave or cheat or disassociate from their partners as when single. All marriage will do is to give her more tools in order to punish you next time! With a poor foundation to begin with, this would have all the making of a disaster!

So, what about my original advice that you start dating other women? Here's the reality:

Right now, she knows she has you hanging by the front door. She has no real motivation to forgive you and thus, likely doesn't plan too unless things go sour with the new guy, and even then, it's not because she's committing to something - it's because she doesn't have a better deal waiting! Even worse, I'll bet she's scared that you'll no longer be the guy she used to love!

Is that really how you want a relationship (let alone a marriage) to work? I seriously, hope not!

By starting to date other women, you're giving yourself (and frankly, your relationship) some options. You'll get your head clear about all of this and you'll start to remember how you should be treated by women. In effect, you'll start taking back that power you no longer have.

Once that is done, you can start negotiations with her *IF* you want to! This will no longer be about being sorry; it'll be about what's best for the relationship between you two. What you have now is definitely NOT that right now!

So, my original question still stands. Will really you do what you have to in order to have her back? We'll see.

Best regards...
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Have a love, dating, relationship, sex or man/woman question? You can write to me by going to: http://beingaman.com/ask_question.asp for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's Worldtm" (volumes I & II), and other products visit: http://beingaman.com/General%20-%202005/www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

Copyright (c) 2006, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.

"Being Friends"

The Reality of "Being Friends"

Hi Doctor,

I am getting to know a Christian girl. We have been going out for almost two months and I told her that I like her. In the beginning she told me that she was not interested in a relationship right now but was ok with being friends and she continues to go out with me. She answers my calls most of the time but when she doesn't I become anxious and I start thinking too much.

Please how can I deal with it?
Thanks.

Hello!

Of course she likes going out with you - you're free entertainment! She gets to have free meals, movies and is generally entertained when she goes out with you. Even better she gets to tell her friends that she has guys "...hanging all over her..."

That doesn't mean she's ever going to give you anything more just because you buy her food and drinks.

It also sounds like you're trying to dominate her time. You didn't mention this specifically but it's a common pattern in this sort of situation. By doing so, she never gets the chance to miss you or to use her feminine mind to build you up.

Let me give you some secrets you need to understand about women:

1) Women don't want to be chased - they want to DO the chasing.

This is an important lesson for any man to learn. If you chase a woman (like this one), she sees herself as "above you" in your relationship. That's very bad because women want to date "up". That is, they want to date (and win) someone that is above them instead. You're proving with every date that you're not this guy.

2) She already knows that she "owns you"; thus, you're worth nothing to her. Thus, if she gets you, what does she really get? Nothing.

3) All women "define" themselves by their relationships just as we guys "define" outselves via our careers. Any time a woman says that she doesn't want a relationship "right now" it means that she doesn't want a relationship "with you."

4) You've already played your hand so you have nothing to bargain with. You've told her that you "like her". She doesn't have to chase you because you've already given yourself away to her - for free.

In effect, what you did was tell her that you liked her in the hopes that she would just somehow fall in love with you and then, do all your work for you. Since she didn't, now you continue trying to dominate her time and get anxious when she doesn't pick up the phone because you're afraid that she's out with someone else.

If you really want this girl, you're going to now have to work 10 times harder - and smarter - than you'd otherwise have had to. Your chances of having her now are extremely remote and my best advice to you is to move on and find someone else that you DON'T make these mistakes with.

Of course, you're not going to take that because as a guy you actually believe that you can win someone if you just work hard enough. Ok, that's fine. Let me tell you what you need to do now:

1) Get very scarce. Don't call her, don't contact her, don't run into her - nothing. If she contacts you, that's fine, but take 3-4 days to get back with her. Don't do it immediately.

2) If she contacts you, tell her that you don't want to be her "friend" - you already have enough of these - and if she isn't into a "relationship right now" (bullshit as we've already discussed) that you're not interested in her either.

3) (Most important step): start dating other women RIGHT AWAY! It doesn't really even matter if you're interested in them or not! You just have to get out there in order to clear you mind of this girl. When you don't need her, you'll be able to make better decisions about how to win her.

Sorry my brother, that's the reality.

Best regards...
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Have a love, dating, relationship, sex or man/woman question? You can write to me by going to: http://beingaman.com/ask_question.asp for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's Worldtm" (volumes I & II), and other products visit: http://beingaman.com/General%20-%202005/www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

Copyright (c) 2006, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.

My Hot Neighbor

My Neighbor's Hot - And She Knows It!


Hey Doc:

I've had a few girlfriends in the past and have no problems with experience. I don't think I'm God's gift to women, but I'm not particularly ugly either.

I've fallen for a neighbor girl. I'm not shy to talk to her, but she's just perfect. She's a very nice person, but thinks quite a lot of herself (which makes me all the more attracted to her!)

Do you have some kind of technique or form of body language I could use or a conversation that I could bring up? I'm not shy so ill try anything!

Thanks in anticipation.

Hello!

I've got the perfect technique for the perfect situation here. As you said, she "...thinks quite a lot of herself..." That's really a ripe, ideal ground for taking that away a little!

Here's how this works: by "busting" and "challenging" her, you instantly change the relative position between you and she. In effect, you "raise your stock" in her eyes.

In order to do this, you need to treat her like your bratty little sister rather than someone that you're interested in. By giving her attention, you simply play into that belief about herself. Worse, you become just like every other guy that's interested in her.

When you bust her on the other hand, you in effect tell her that she has to work for your attention - that you're not going to just give it to her for free - and you instantly become someone she has to know, because, well, you're not like every other guy!

Do you see how this works?

By acting cocky and treating her like she's not really that interesting to you you're going to become irresistible to her.

In order to do this, just imagine how you'd treat your little sister that always wants to hang around you. You'd be teasing her - and you'd mean it. Of course, you wouldn't be down-right mean to her, but you wouldn't be very warm and cuddly either! This is the balance you want to strike.

For example, if you see her next door, you can say to her, "Are you spying on me or something?" or "You're not going to become one of those nutty busy-body neighbors like you hear about on the news, are you?"

The trick here is to NOT laugh or make it a joke! Act like you really mean it, but leave the question open. Do you or don't you?

If you pull this off just right, you're going to have her eating out of your hands.

One last point: You can't do this without giving her an "in". That is, she has to be able to win your attention at some point. She'll slowly start ramping up her attempts to get you to be more than just her neighbor. Resist the temptation to just jump right in however. Give in just a little - and then take it away again.

You can say something like, "Ok, you're obviously looking for attention, but I'm busy right now. Let's go out on Saturday, but I'll call you if I can't." Don't call to confirm however - just assume that she's waiting for you on Saturday, but it's good to keep her guessing until the last minute.

Best regards...
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Have a love, dating, relationship, sex or man/woman question? You can write to me by going to: http://beingaman.com/ask_question.asp for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's Worldtm" (volumes I & II), and other products visit: http://beingaman.com/General%20-%202005/www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

Copyright (c) 2006, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.

Getting Back an Ex

Getting the Ex Back


Hey Dennis!

I read one of your replies to a question and thought your response was excellent. Could you please could you help with this one?

I was in a relationship with my ex for just over a year, when we first started dating. I was finding it very hard to get her out on dates. She is a very attractive girl, but also has many friends so I may have been only seeing her one night a week for the first 1-2 months. I am a very successful young man with good looks and many people like me, but I was not used to this treatment, any way after about 2 months I ended the relationship, because I felt that we needed to spend more time together.

After a couple of weeks we got back together, and she moved into my place, things carried on pretty much how they were but we did get to spend more time together, we did come from totally different situations I was used to long term loving relationships and she was used to being single for years just having fun with her girlfriends. I know at times I probably came across as needy but surely relationships are about spending time together, right?

The next six months went ok, but I always felt second best and this just used to grate on me, she was very immature and often played games with me leaving me in no-win situations, I could play the games back but I just didn't want too.

About two months ago she went out on a Friday night with her friends, I called her the next morning to see if we could meet up and she said she was hung-over and just wanted to stay in (she was back living at her parents.) I said, "Well it would be nice for you to want to see me at some point over the weekend; maybe I'll see you Monday then." Her reply was, "There you go again - having a go at me!" So I just said "Let's just forget it!"

We didn't talk for a week, then I tried to contact her and she wouldn't talk to me on the phone and proceeded to just insult me by text! I held my own telling her how bad and selfish she can be at times. This went on for about 2 weeks

I thought I would leave her alone after that and have had no contact for over a month but I do miss her and want her back.

What shall I do?

Hello!

Thanks for your comments on a previous reply!

Here's something she's not telling you: she has lost interest, but just isn't mature enough to tell you so. So she's just hiding and trying to insult you trying to make you go away. In effect, she's too much of a coward, and frankly, a self-centered bitch (sorry, it's true) to tell you exactly what she's thinking.

First of all, let's consider one question: do you REALLY want her back, or do you just feel that you've lost and you want another chance at winning again. It appears that this girl is manipulative, non-communicative, self-centered and a game-player.

You on the other hand seem to be a good guy that is just looking for a good girl. What inside of you would make you want to chance this sort of pain? Just because she's attractive to you means very little. There are TONS of attractive girls out there and in fact, many of them are also great human beings. From your description, this is not something I'd ever say about your ex. Don't you deserve better than her? I think you do.

Here's a rule about women: they want to date "up". In other words, they want to believe that they are lucky to be with a particular guy. Your ex obviously doesn't feel lucky at all. She didn't even give you the courtesy of a goodbye as though she didn't owe you anything, and is even blaming you for her own bad behavior.

In order to make her want to change her mind (which you already know I think is a mistake), she has to feel some loss. What are the odds of that, do you think? As long as you're chasing her, they are absolutely zero. She knows she can have you whenever she wants, and thus, your "stock" is nothing.

Thus, the answer is to get out there and start dating every short skirt you can find. She has to feel that she's lost you or she won't have anything to win back.

There is an added benefit for you however: you get to see how women really are by dating other ones. You get to see how they treat someone that they care about and that cares about them. Your ex is not a good example of this at all.

What would happen then if you find some terrific woman that fits you in every other category that you adore? Do you think you'll forget about "Ms. It's-all-about-me"??? You bet you will.

Who is the "winner" then?

Best regards...
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Have a love, dating, relationship, sex or man/woman question? You can write to me by going to: http://beingaman.com/ask_question.asp for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's Worldtm" (volumes I & II), and other products visit: http://beingaman.com/General%20-%202005/www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

Copyright (c) 2006, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.

Dating a Slob

The Problem with Dating Farm Animals


My boyfriend is filthy!

In his bathroom the dust and dirt has just accumulated over the year I've known him. He doesn't empty his garbage; even when it gets full he just keeps throwing stuff in the pile. I've even watched him throw something on the floor by the garbage can because that is where the rest have started to fall anyway.

His office is the same way. He piles the garbage and keeps it going in a corner or something. There were spots all over the floors where his new puppy had peed. His counters are filthy. If he wipes them off there is still food stuck to the surface and grime slid across the counter (you can see where something was and that it was tried to be wiped up but just got smeared and then left). He doesn't sweep his floors or vacuum. That means the dog hair balls up all over everything. He has mentioned that she made another mess and I just can't imagine what he possibly did to clean it up. It makes me sick!
He doesn't have pillow cases on his pillows so you can see all the stains from drooling or whatever else on the pillows so I generally don't use a pillow and force myself not to think about the rest of the bed. A blanket he tries to give me when I'm cold always stinks very, very badly so I don't use it. I make sure to be wearing an extra layer of clothing in efforts to avoid being near the blanket.
His dog was recently in heat and there are blood stains on the floor. The stains have not been cleaned and it's now been a week since she stopped. He used to have cats in the basement. They pooped and peed all over the carpet down there. It was EVERYWHERE! It was very gross and he only recently cleaned that out because his son moved in.
His cloths aren't regularly washed and he often wears the same shirt over and over again.There are many times that his cloths smell like he left them in the washer for days then just moved them to the dryer so they have the mildew/moldy smell to them.
Then there's his bad breath.
Now that you kind of have the point, what should I do about it? I've started to avoid going to his house and if we have to stop there quickly I wait outside. I haven't mentioned his breath but I don't want to kiss him like that. I sometimes avoid getting close or standing near him. I don't know what to do. I won't be with him much longer if this continues.

Do I leave him? Do I stay? Do I tell him? How?


Hello!Man! I've heard of people that were messy, but this guy is just a pig! There's a big difference between someone that is just "unkempt" and someone that is endangering the ozone layer! I fear for all of our safety! Perhaps this guy's place is the portal directly to hell or something! If there's anything good about all of this, at least it's far too filthy for rats to nest!Ok, sorry about all the jokes - I know this isn't funny to you!There are a wide range of conditions that people are willing to live in, but this guy's choice seems rather extreme and frankly, unhealthy. I don't blame you a bit for not wanting to hang at his place.I suggest you take an escalated approach with him. First, by this point in your relationship, you should be close enough to be able to have quality discussions and this is a good one. Explain to him that you originally thought you could deal with his lack of sanitation, but that you've come to realize that it's a far bigger issue for you than you thought. Then, see what he says.There's a very big difference between not knowing how to "fix" his present situation and actually liking it. If he stands firm on this, you and he might not be a very good match! Perhaps he'd be better off with farm animals than people. On the other hand, perhaps this is just a very bad habit in which case, you can help him establish new, more healthy habits if he's willing to try it.I suggest you start by offering to help him clean things up over a weekend. I know you're not his maid, but consider that this is actually "relationship management" in order to avoid embarrassing visits by the health department. Once you get things cleaned, help him develop a schedule for basic things such as taking out the trash, washing his clothes, vacuuming, etc.Now, be aware that you shouldn't do these things yourself! This is his job as his investment in your relationship. He needs to develop these good habits and may never have learned them from his mother.You might also suggest that he hires a maid to come in twice a month. You'd be surprised at how much this can help. She'll at least do the basics every two weeks which will change his environment dramatically.Consider that you're not trying to change him here; you're just trying to save his life ;) More important you're trying to save this relationship. If he digs in his heels and refuses to make any changes, he's not the right guy for you, but even then, I can't imagine what woman would be "right".Best regards...
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Have a love, dating, relationship, sex or man/woman question? You can write to me by going to: http://beingaman.com/ask_question.asp for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's Worldtm" (volumes I & II), and other products visit: http://beingaman.com/General%20-%202005/www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

Copyright (c) 2006, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.

Dating a Co-worker

The Girl at Work


Dear Dr. Neder:

I have liked a woman at my work for sometime now. We were out with others from work one evening and I admitted to her how I felt after getting a little drunk. She was perfectly sober since she was the designated driver. At the same time, she told me that she was also attracted to me, but that she didn't want a boyfriend at that moment. We wound up making out and dancing all evening.

Since then I've felt very confused. I got her number that night but I haven't called her as I planned to give her space due to what she said about not wanting a boyfriend.

What I don't understand is; why did she say she didn't want a boyfriend and then let everything else happen and was even enthusiastic about it?

One more question - she mentioned that she doesn't really want to date anyone from work because of a bad experience that she had in the past. Is that reasonable? Do you think that's why she doesn't want a boyfriend at the moment?

Hello!

Whenever a girl tells you that she "...isn't ready for a relationship..." or "...doesn't want a boyfriend..." big, green flags should go off in your mind. This is actually a very good thing! You'll instantly have your path set and all you need to do is follow it.

What is that path? I'll explain in a minute, but first, you need some foundation.

Here's the most important rule I can give you about women: watch their actions - don't listen to their words. Words are women's way of "managing" their situations. They use words to misdirect you away from their real intentions. This is because women don't want to seem like they're too interested in you because then YOU have all the power.

Their actions however, DO NOT LIE.

This situation is what I call the "Mini-Test". It's an attempt by this woman to see what would happen if she got into a relationship with you. Would she get to be the girl, or would she have to be the man too - because you're not going to be him. I'm afraid that sitting back and "respecting" her not wanting a boyfriend is the WRONG MESSAGE to send her.

Go back and re-read that paragraph until it really sinks in before you continue.

In my books, I talk about "Pre-Tests", "Mini-Tests" and "The Test". These are all tools that women have in their relationship toolkits that men lack. You need to understand how they work however because you're going to be Tested - constantly. As soon as you learn how to pass these Tests, you're going to be the man women just have to get to know. That's no exaggeration by the way!

This girl was all over you. She IMPLIED what she wanted while trying to misdirect you with words. Women believe deep down that real men should set the pace. They'd rather be with someone that knows what he wants and is willing to express it - even if it doesn't match what they THINK they want!
Consider this too: women DEFINE themselves by their relationships just as you and I do by our careers. If women are in good, solid, loving relationships, they feel "successful" just as you do when you're on a career path. How would you feel if you were unemployed? That's how women feel when they're not dating anyone.

Thus, you KNOW that her not wanting a boyfriend is garbage. Of course she wants one - but she wants a GREAT one. Can you be him? I think so!

So, she had a bad relationship at work before, eh? Big deal! Boo-hoo! Who hasn't had bad relationships? You're not that guy, you didn't cause the problem and you're not worried about having bad relationships because you and she are mature enough to handle it - right? All you need to do now is to express this to her.

Here's how:

First, you need to set up a date with her. Don't ask her for it however; TELL HER what's going to happen! When you see her, just walk up and say, "Clear Saturday night, I'll pick you up at 8." You don't even have to say why! Just tell her what you want, be absolutely clear about it - and make sure SHE'S clear about it too. You don't want her to say, "Oh, I thought you meant FRIDAY night." or something (more misdirection - see how this works?)

Then, when you see her on Saturday, use my "opening kiss" technique where you walk right up and give her a big, passionate kiss right on the lips even before you say "hello". This is going to knock her right off her stilettos.

Next, turn on the charm, touch her, challenge her and make her laugh. If she brings up the boyfriend thing again, just say, "Yeah, you're absolutely right." and then ignore it! Treat it like she didn't even say it - because she didn't! Her actions speak louder than her words, right?

If she brings up the work thing again, just say, "Yeah, I know many guys and girls aren't mature enough to handle this. It's too bad that this guy wasn't, but you and I won't have that problem because we're cool." Then, drop it entirely. All you need to do is simply address her fear, tell her that it's a non-issue and go back to having a great time.

My brother, as the man, you have certain rights and responsibilities. All women want to know is that YOU know this and you're ready to deal with it. Then, they let down their guards and feel relieved because they know that they're with someone that has things handled. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

Best regards...
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Have a love, dating, relationship, sex or man/woman question? You can write to me by going to: http://beingaman.com/ask_question.asp for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's Worldtm" (volumes I & II), and other products visit: http://beingaman.com/General%20-%202005/www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

Copyright (c) 2006, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.